Masjid-e-qibliteen

Duties of Children towards Deceased Parents

Duties of Children towards Deceased Parents
by AlaHadrat Imam Ahmad Rida Khan al-Baraylawi Alaihir raHmah

A question was asked to the Great Mujaddid AlaHadrat Ash-Shah Imam Ahmad Rida Khan al-Qadiri (Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu) regarding the Duties of Children towards deceased Parents... Over which HE stated the following points:

1. The first and foremost duty of the children after the death of the parent is that he should immediately arrange and take part in Ghusl, Salat al-Janaza (Funeral Prayer) and Burial which should be done in accordance with the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam, and hope for them to receive the Mercy of Almighty Allah.

2. He should always make Dua and Istighfar for them at all times and never be unconscious about it.

3. He should give out Sadaqah and Khayrat (Charity) and always send the rewards of good deeds (Aa'mal-e-Sawleh) to them in accordance to his personal capacity. When performing Salah and keeping Fast (Roza), do likewise for them. Actually, for any good deed performed, the Sawab should be forwarded to them and all deceased Muslims and this will not affect the benefits one will receive, in any way. On the contrary, the Sawab of such acts will be beneficial to himself, his parents and all the deceased of the Ummah.

4. If the parents left behind any kind of debts or credits it should be paid in full immediately from one's personal wealth, which should be regarded as blessings of this Duniya and Aakhirah. If you cannot afford to pay, assistance should be taken from the family, close friends or charitable Muslims.

5. If he has not performed Hajj, firstly, try to perform his Hajj-e-Badal for him personally, or send someone as a representative to do so. If he has any previous Zakah to be paid, do so immediately. If he has any Qada of Salat or Roza (Fasting) perform the Kaffarah for him. The children should, in all aspects, try their best to execute the duties of their parents which were left undone.

6. Whatever desires and wishes were made by the parent should be carried out even though it may displease you and the Shariah does not compel you to. For example, if he has made a Wasiyat (Wish) to give half of his wealth or belongings to a dear friend, non-inheritor or total outsider, even though in accordance to the Law of the Shariah, one-third of the wealth or belongings cannot be given to anyone without the consent of the heirs, it is best for the heirs to execute the Wasiyat and priority to the wishes and happiness of the deceased.

7. If he has taken an oath, carry it out after his death.If the parents had sworn an oath that their child must not do a certain thing or not meet with a certain person or must not go to a certain place, it must not be discarded after the death, saying :"Well, they are not alive so I can do certain things." Wrong! One should abide by it as he did while they were alive, as long as it does not conflict with the Shariah.

8. Visit their graves every Friday and recite Surah Yaseen at the graveside loudly and pass the Thawab of recitation to them. While travelling, never pass their graves without greeting and performing Fatiha.

9. As long as you live, be kind to their relatives.

10. Maintain friendship and respect for all their relatives.

11. Never, at any time, insult anyone's parents, so that they may not insult yours.

12. The most difficult duty is never to commit any sin and inflict harm to them in their graves. All deeds of the children are taken to their parents in the grave. On seeing the good deeds they are very pleased and their faces glitter with happiness. On the contrary, if they see the bad deeds or sins, they become very sad.

O! Merciful and Most Forgiving Allah! The Almighty and All Powerful! On behalf of your most Beloved Prophet, Mercy of the Universe (SallAllahu Alaihi wa Sallam), protect us from sins and grant us the guidance and courage to always do good. Fill the graves of our elders and deceased with Light and happiness. O Allah! You are the All Powerful, we are the weak. You are the Wealthy and we are the poor. Protect us... Aameen!!

سورج ایک عظیم دیا اور چاند روشنی دیتا ہے

Ten Manners in Islam

1. Praying for someone who does good to you

Praying for the one who treats you kindly by saying “Jazak Allaahu khayran”

It was narrated that Usaamah ibn Zayd (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said:

“Whoever has a favor done for him and says to the one who did it, ‘Jazak Allaahu khayran,’ has done enough to thank him.”

2. Shaking hands with the opposite gender

It is not permissible for a man to shake the hands of a non – mahram woman.

Narrated Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said:

“If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.”

3. Drinking

It is permissible to drink, however it is better to drink while sitting.

Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him): Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

“None of you should drink while standing; and if anyone forgets, he must vomit.”

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas (may Allaah be pleased with him):

“The Prophet (peace be upon him) drank Zam-Zam (water) while standing.”

Narrated An-Nazzal (may Allaah be pleased with him): All came to the gate of the courtyard (of the Mosque) and drank (water) while he was standing and said,

“Some people dislike to drink while standing, but I saw the Prophet (peace be upon him) doing (drinking water) as you have seen me doing now.”

Imam Nawawee (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

“There is no contradiction in these ahaadeeth, praise be to Allaah, and none of them are da’eef (weak). Rather they are all saheeh. The correct view is that the forbidding mentioned in them is to be understood as meaning that it is disliked. The fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) drank whilst standing indicates that it is permissible to do so. This is all that needs to be said on the matter.”

4. Sneezing

When someone sneezes, they should praise Allah by saying ‘Alhamdulillah’ (Praise be to Allaah.

If you here someone sneezing and praising Allah, you should ask Allah to bestow His Mercy on them by saying ‘Yarhamukallaah’ (May Allaah bestow His Mercy on you).

If someone says this to you, you should reply, ‘Yahdeekumullaahu wa yuslihu baalakum’ (May Allah give you guidance and improve your condition).

Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

“If anyone of you sneezes, he should say 'Al-Hamdulillah' (Praise be to Allah), and his (Muslim) brother or companion should say to him, 'Yar-hamuka-l-lah' (May Allah bestow his Mercy on you). When the latter says 'Yar-hamuka-llah", the former should say, 'Yahdikumul-lah wa Yuslih balakum' (May Allah give you guidance and improve your condition).”

5. Greeting

It is the duty of all muslims to great each other by sayin ‘As-Salaamu 'alaykum’(peace be upon you)

Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

“Allah created Adam, making him 60 cubits tall. When He created him, He said to him, ‘Go and greet that group of angels, and listen to their reply, for it will be your greeting (salutation) and the greeting (salutations) of your offspring.’ So, Adam said (to the angels), As-Salamu Alaikum (i.e. Peace be upon you). The angels said, "As-salamu Alaika wa Rahmatu-l-lahi" (i.e. Peace and Allah's Mercy be upon you). Thus the angels added to Adam's salutation the expression, 'Wa Rahmatu-l-lahi,' Any person who will enter Paradise will resemble Adam (in appearance and figure). People have been decreasing in stature since Adam's creation.”

6. Eating with the right hand

Muslims should always eat and drink with their right hands only.

Narrated Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him): Allaah's Messenger (peace be upon him) as saying:

“When any one of you intends to eat (meal), he should eat with his right hand. and when he (intends) to drink he should drink with his right hand, for the Satan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand.”

7. Saying Bismillah before eating

It is Sunnah to say ‘Bismillaah’ (In The Name Of Allaah)

Narrated 'Umar bin Abi Salama (may Allaah be pleased with him): I was a boy under the care of Allah's Apostle (peace be upon him) and my hand used to go around the dish while I was eating. So Allah's Apostle (peace be upon him) said to me,

“O boy! Mention the Name of Allah and eat with your right hand, and eat of the dish what is nearer to you." Since then I have applied those instructions when eating.”

8. What to say after eating

After eating, it is Sunnah to say ‘Alhamdu lillaahi hamdan katheeran tayyiban mubaarakan feehi, ghayra makfiyyin wa laa muwadda'in, wa laa mustaghnan 'anhu Rabbanaa’ (All praise is to Allah, praise in abundance, good and blessed. It cannot be compensated for, nor can it be left, nor can it be done without, our Lord)

Narrated Aboo Umama (may Allaah be pleased with him): Whenever the dining sheet of the Prophet was taken away (i.e., whenever he finished his meal), he used to say:

“Al-hamdu lillah kathiran taiyiban mubarakan fihi ghaira makfiy wala muwada' wala mustaghna'anhu Rabbuna.”

9. Respecting Parents

We should always respect our parents.

Allah, the Most High, says in the Qur’aan:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.”

Narrated Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimah (may Allaah be pleased with him) came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) and said:

“O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go and fight (in jihad) and I have come to consult you.”

He said, “Do you have a mother?”

He said, “Yes.”

He said, “Stay with her for Paradise is at her feet.”

10. Lying and Cheating

It is not permissible to lie and cheat in Islaam

i. Lying

Narrated ‘Abdullah (may Allaah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

“Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajur (wickedness) leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar.”

Narrated Samura bin Jundub (may Allaah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

“I saw (in a dream), two men came to me." Then the Prophet narrated the story (saying), ‘They said, ‘The person, the one whose cheek you saw being torn away (from the mouth to the ear) was a liar and used to tell lies and the people would report those lies on his authority till they spread all over the world. So he will be punished like that till the Day of Resurrection.’”

ii. Cheating

Narrated Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him): The Prophet (peace be upon him) happened to pass by a heap of eatables (corn). He thrust his hand in that (heap) and his fingers were moistened. He said to the owner of that heap of eatables (corn):

“What is this?”

He replied: “Messenger of Allah, these have been drenched by rainfall.”

He (peace be upon him) remarked: “Why did you not place this (the drenched part of the heap) over other eatables so that the people could see it? He who deceives is not of me (is not my follower).”

And It is Only Allah Who grants success. May Allah Exalt the mention of His slave and Messenger Muhammad, and render him, his household and companion safe from Evil.

Surah al-Baqarah, Verse 274